eyes awake

Eyes awake but tired, a body made of sand. A life lived in solitude, relying on one.
These hands have fallen
What was once my foundation,
Is shaken
And someone, or something
Has taken it away,
Moved in and taken its place
These faces
These ones that I once loved
Have turned away,
And turned gray,
Dull in the shadows
A voice rattles
Off the names
Of the ones that turned, ashamed,
Of the ones that learned my pain,
I stumbled,
And now I’m lying here in the rubble
Ashamed,
I turn my face away,
Condemned, as the foot steps get closer,
And it starts to rain
My tears stain this page
Suddenly your blood
I can taste it
Falling on my face
Mixed in with the rain
You endured the pain it cost to catch the lost
And now your blood stains these pages too
Cause I laid down this cross
And lost the life you gave,
And now I’m crying out to you today
Knowing tomorrow, it will not have all gone away
There will still be the stains
The guilt and the shame
The scars and the pain
And I will cry out to you again
Knowing that, maybe today
I will be saved,
From the wrenched life I live
By the powerful love only you can give
Maybe someone could pray
For someone like me
Tell us to hold on
And not just that, but to encourage us to push on
And maybe step out of this space that we’ve called our own for too long
And let somebody else know and feel our hurts and know our wrongs
And carry our burdens alongside us
How long will we be left in these dusty shadows
How long will we fall before we reach a helping/ healing hand
How long will we be hidden
When will we be taught how to stand after we’ve let go of it all
Who will pick us up when we fall
Cause I feel myself falling
As blood and tears stain these pages
I turn and walk away
My face, dull in the shadows
A glimmer of hope set on my heart
A small shred
But still, it is there
Your gaze set upon me,
Your footsteps ever closer,
Your hand on my shoulder
Brings me hope.


Over the past few years, I’ve been somewhat falling away from God. And no matter how far I have gone, when I come back, he is still there to greet me, he is still there, running towards me when I finally make the decision to come back. Though I do, and my friends may, he will never turn his face away, no matter how much guilt there is, no matter how many names the devil rattles off.

When we leave, he cries out in sadness, when we come back, he cries out for joy.

There are no words great enough to describe his love for us.


For GOD is great, and worth a thousand Hallelujahs.
His terrible beauty makes the (worldly) gods look cheap;
Pagan gods are mere tatters and rags.
GOD made the heavens--
Royal splendor radiates from him,
A powerful beauty sets him apart.
Psalm 96:4-6
(The Message)